Thank you for your heart and focus on this very relevant topic! And thank you for recording the audio, that makes it very accessible when it’s sometimes hard to slow down to read.
My mother will be 93-years-young next month! I, myself, turn 71 next month. I heard someone say that you really never grow up, until your parents die; as an only-child, this is very true for me, as I still feel, inside (not in the mirror, lol), that I am still at least in my twenties! My father died 7 years ago, this month, leaving all of my mother's responsibilities to me and my husband; his mother is also a widow, but she has two other son's who share in her responsibilities and care in another state. My father spoiled my mother in doing absolutely everything for them/her, including paying bills by check, (she hates technology of any kind), filling the car with gasoline, etc., things most people her age do for themselves. She is also very regimented, OCD, not in the least spontaneous, totally the opposite of me and my husband. Life can be very taxing, to say the least. Add onto the above is that her entire interest in life is going to a casino every single day, (yes, we live in Las Vegas), unless I have a pressing engagement with my church covenant community and she feels like she might attend instead of stay home alone, until I can take her out. So, I have pretty much just filled my father's very big shoes to keep her life as stable without him as possible, and not upset her apple-cart too much. She is losing her hearing of late, but is also becoming agitated at any suggestions of bettering her lifestyle, especially in relation to her non-relationship with Adonai, (she is a Catholic, in name only.)
While I can relate to your article on the surface, the helpful suggestions would appear to reflect the care of a believer. I rest on His promise that "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." Thank you for the suggestions. May He give her ears to hear. (Sorry for the long-story!)
Oh, Lynn, you, like many others have been "gifted" with such a hard caregiving task. It is hard to care for an unbelieving (or "barely" believing) parent, especially when they will not hear our hope, which is in Christ alone. The authors who did the research this article is based on often recommended some sort of life story work to help their clients. (And these authors are not Christians.) I wonder if you might try doing some structured reminiscence or story work with your mom. Or, if there is a group locally that does something like reminiscence or guided autobiography work, that might benefit her. As humans, God made us story-creatures, and I think very few humans can resist another person's willingness to listen to and to be curious about their stories. Just a thought.
My husband's parents are showing more signs of aging than mine. We were just talking about when to pull the car keys from his dad. So hard. Thanks for the reminder of the ministry of caring for aging parents!
Wow! This post evoked so many emotions as well as provided essential information I need as I support my aging parents through their “elderhood years.” Thank you!
You're so welcome, JoDee! I'm so glad it was useful. And yes, we have so many emotions around caring for our aging parents. I wrote this having lost both of my parents, and it provoked emotions in me as I wish I had known then some of what I know now.
Thank you for your heart and focus on this very relevant topic! And thank you for recording the audio, that makes it very accessible when it’s sometimes hard to slow down to read.
You’re so welcome, Diana! Glad you liked the recording. I know what you mean about it being hard to slow down to read sometimes!
Certainly helps with multitasking! Thank you!
Well written and very informative. As an older adult myself I can appreciate each of these challenges!
I’m glad it was helpful, George! I’ve seen all of these in myself or others.
My mother will be 93-years-young next month! I, myself, turn 71 next month. I heard someone say that you really never grow up, until your parents die; as an only-child, this is very true for me, as I still feel, inside (not in the mirror, lol), that I am still at least in my twenties! My father died 7 years ago, this month, leaving all of my mother's responsibilities to me and my husband; his mother is also a widow, but she has two other son's who share in her responsibilities and care in another state. My father spoiled my mother in doing absolutely everything for them/her, including paying bills by check, (she hates technology of any kind), filling the car with gasoline, etc., things most people her age do for themselves. She is also very regimented, OCD, not in the least spontaneous, totally the opposite of me and my husband. Life can be very taxing, to say the least. Add onto the above is that her entire interest in life is going to a casino every single day, (yes, we live in Las Vegas), unless I have a pressing engagement with my church covenant community and she feels like she might attend instead of stay home alone, until I can take her out. So, I have pretty much just filled my father's very big shoes to keep her life as stable without him as possible, and not upset her apple-cart too much. She is losing her hearing of late, but is also becoming agitated at any suggestions of bettering her lifestyle, especially in relation to her non-relationship with Adonai, (she is a Catholic, in name only.)
While I can relate to your article on the surface, the helpful suggestions would appear to reflect the care of a believer. I rest on His promise that "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." Thank you for the suggestions. May He give her ears to hear. (Sorry for the long-story!)
Much love to you in Him Who binds us!
Lynn
Oh, Lynn, you, like many others have been "gifted" with such a hard caregiving task. It is hard to care for an unbelieving (or "barely" believing) parent, especially when they will not hear our hope, which is in Christ alone. The authors who did the research this article is based on often recommended some sort of life story work to help their clients. (And these authors are not Christians.) I wonder if you might try doing some structured reminiscence or story work with your mom. Or, if there is a group locally that does something like reminiscence or guided autobiography work, that might benefit her. As humans, God made us story-creatures, and I think very few humans can resist another person's willingness to listen to and to be curious about their stories. Just a thought.
My husband's parents are showing more signs of aging than mine. We were just talking about when to pull the car keys from his dad. So hard. Thanks for the reminder of the ministry of caring for aging parents!
That’s such a hard discussion, Serena. It is indeed a ministry, one that I believe God used to shape us as we age.
Wow! This post evoked so many emotions as well as provided essential information I need as I support my aging parents through their “elderhood years.” Thank you!
You're so welcome, JoDee! I'm so glad it was useful. And yes, we have so many emotions around caring for our aging parents. I wrote this having lost both of my parents, and it provoked emotions in me as I wish I had known then some of what I know now.