Growing in Prayer

A Crucial Habit for Aging Gracefully

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A Widow’s Story

A young widow who never even had a chance to have children, Anna refused to remarry. Left with a hefty inheritance from her husband’s life insurance and her own family money, she had no need to return to work. With no children and no career and her beloved gone, Anna could have easily become bitter. Instead, she devoted herself to her forever bridegroom—Jesus. She spent hours studying and teaching the Bible. She spent hours hearing and answering God in prayer. She was often the first to arrive at the church on Sunday mornings and the last to leave, opening up the church library, working in the nursery during Sunday school, and staying to chat with newcomers afterwards. In this way, Anna lived a full and happy life for many years.

As Anna aged, she lost some of her abilities to minister in the church as she once had. When her eyesight failed, she was unable to continue as church librarian. When her strength failed, she could no longer care for babies and toddlers in the nursery. When her hearing failed, she struggled to teach and lead Bible study. The losses and limitations of old age did not faze Anna; one steadfast commitment kept her going: communing with her Savior. Because she spent fewer hours in active church ministry, she devoted more hours to praying for others; when she faced physical losses, she prayed fervently that she would accept them graciously. When she felt lonely because she had to be at home alone more often, she imagined eagerly the day she would meet her beloved Bridegroom face to face.

Anna is who I want to be when I grow up. You might think her story is vaguely familiar, and in fact, this Anna is a fictitious character modeled after the 84-year-old widow Anna in Luke 2:36-38. The primary difference between the two women is that the Anna of Scripture was likely impoverished. She did lose her husband at an early age, and she apparently had no children. She lived close to the temple and spent her time “worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day” (Luke 2:37). As a prophetess, she heard messages from God and delivered them. She was single-minded in her devotion to the Lord, and her constant communion with him led her to see that her Savior was coming. Because she was looking for her Savior, she easily recognized him when he appeared: “And coming up at that very hour she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem” (Luke 2:38). Anna had waited many years, conversing with the Lord day by day, and she lived expectantly, unshaken by daily trials and sorrows. What led her to be this way?

I believe that one of the main reasons Anna aged so gracefully is that she spent time with the Lord, reading Scripture, and answering God in prayer. Many books have been written about aging gracefully. Few have mentioned prayer as a crucial practice for doing so. Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt, in their book, Aging with Grace, do mention praying, writing about Anna, “Worship in response to the suffering in her life prepared Anna to see Jesus when others did not; she knew him.”[1] Prayer is worship. Prayer is the way we know God. And through prayer, we can graciously accept the losses of aging while anticipating the joy to come when we meet our Savior face to face.

Why pray?

Prayer changes us. Do you fear becoming an entitled old woman or a grumpy old man? Do you fear becoming bitter from the loss of spouse and friends? Do you fear becoming whiny about the chronic pain you might suffer? (I do.) If so, there’s one surefire way to avoid turning into someone you don’t want to be: prayer. Transformation of character as Christians comes through the Holy Spirit, who gives us the power to defeat sin by turning our gaze upon the Beloved. There we see his saving love scripted in his scars.

Author Paul Miller argues that this connection happens through prayer: “Prayer accesses the Spirit of Jesus. The apostle Paul articulates a specific pattern I call the church’s power train: prayer → Spirit → Jesus → power. Our car’s power train moves power from the engine to the transmission and then the wheels.”[2] Since auto metaphors aren’t my strong suit, I like to think in terms of a gardening image. If the Word is a seed planted in good soil, then prayer is the tool the Spirit uses to fertilize that seed, to grow it into bounteous blooms of beauty in our aging souls.

In other words, even as we pray, the truths we know about Jesus move through our veins, energizing us to live in faith, hope, and love. As Walter Marshall affirms, “Prayer is a means of transfiguring you into the likeness of Christ in holiness, making your spiritual face to shine—just as Christ was transfigured in the body when he prayed (Luke 9:29).”[3] Indeed, prayer changes us.

How should we pray?

Eugene Peterson asserts that prayer is “answering God.”[4] God has spoken—he has told us a true story about a Creator King who spoke his creation into being. He loved his people, but they rebelled against their King. Even so, he made a covenant of steadfast love with them and sent his sinless Son, Jesus, to rescue them from their sins. A good Father, he went to extraordinary lengths to adopt His people as his own children, and through the resurrected Christ, he has raised them to new life. One day, he will send Jesus back to restore all broken things. In that day, they will dwell with God forever, and their communication with him will never be broken again. The story God has spoken invites a response. Our response is prayer.

Enabled by the Spirit translator, we speak back to God. We thank God for His kindness, we praise God for His faithfulness, we ask God for forgiveness, protection, and provision. We pray for God’s will to be done and for His kingdom to come.

As we engage in this answering of God, we discover the primary purpose of prayer: “Prayers are not tools for doing or getting, but for being and becoming…. Prayers are tools that God uses to work his will in our bodies and souls. Prayers are tools that collaborate with his work in us.”[5] In short, prayer conforms us to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29).

What should we pray about?

At every age, we will benefit from a regular practice of adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication (making requests). We will also benefit from regular praying through certain categories: the church: ministry leaders and missionaries, our family, work, the sick and their caregivers, enemies, habitual sins, and growth in fruit of the Spirit are just a few that come to mind. Additionally, as we age, we should begin to pray for courage to handle the challenges we and our peers face: chronic illness or pain, limitations and losses, creating a legacy, caregiving, dying, and anticipating heaven.

How do we begin to pray regularly for these things?

Here are some practical ways to begin to pray more regularly:

• Make a list. Take ten minutes and list out some of the categories mentioned above. Underneath each topic, list people who fit into that category.

• If you can, find a Bible verse that relates to that person or circumstance. (Googling makes this a lot easier).

• Set an alarm for the same time each day (decide on the best time of day for you). At that time, set another timer for ten minutes for prayer. If you spend less time, that’s fine. If you need to go over, do so if you have time.

• Try turning off music and podcasts in the car. Use that time to pray for people and circumstances that come to mind.

• Pray the prayers of others. Sometimes praying a prayer another has written can jumpstart our prayers. In our Numbering Your Days network, I offer a daily prayer, posted every morning at 6 a.m. central time. (You are invited to join this free network, using this link: Pastor Scotty Smith also shares gospel-rich daily prayers at The Gospel Coalition website: (You can also subscribe to receive his prayer in your inbox there.)

Anna’s years of praying were answered the day she beheld the infant Jesus, her Savior. What joy she knew on that day! We too will see many prayers answered as we begin to pray regularly. None will be as thrilling as the answer to the prayer, “Come Lord Jesus” (See Revelation 22:17). Indeed, because he is coming soon, let us pray today for our hearts to be prepared for his joyful arrival!

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[1] Sharon W. Betters and Susan Hunt, Aging with Grace: Flourishing in an Anti-Aging Culture (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2021), 52.

[2] Paul E. Miller, A Praying Church: Becoming a People of Hope in a Discouraging World (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2023), 25.

[3] Walter Marshall and Bruce H. McRae, Gospel Mystery of Sanctification: Growing in Holiness Byliving in Union with Christ (Eugene, Oregon: Wipf & Stock Publishers, 2005), 210.

[4] Eugene Peterson, Answering God: The Psalms as Tools for Prayer (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1989).

[5] Peterson, 2.