6 Reasons We Fear Death
6 Reasons We Fear Death
And How the Gospel Helps Us Cope
Naming Our Fears
As we wrapped up our second session of the Organizing Your Life and Legacy Workshop, various members shared things they were celebrating about the work they had done over the last twelve weeks. One woman celebrated persevering to the end of the workshop. As she explained, “This work forces you to face your fear of death, and I’m proud of myself for not quitting.” What beautiful and honest words, and how true. It takes courage and intentionality (and lots of encouragement from others, which many members of our group also celebrated), to do the work of preparing well for death and leaving a legacy for your loved ones.
Our friend is not alone in fearing death and finding it hard to face. According to psychologist Dr. Karl Albrecht, all humans share this fear. And according to Scripture, we have all been “held in slavery by [our] fear of death.” But there is good news: Jesus came “that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil…” (Hebrews 2:14-15). In his death and resurrection, Jesus freed us from our fear of death.
Although the reasons we fear death may seem obvious, naming our fears can help us face them. When we name our fears around death, we normalize them, and we escape being isolated with them. Even better, identifying and naming our fears opens the door to seeing how the gospel addresses them. Today we will consider six reasons we fear death and how the gospel helps us cope.
Six Reasons We Fear Death
1. Fear of the unknown
Years ago, when she was in her late seventies, my mother was hospitalized for severe arrhythmias related to atrial fibrillation. Unable to get her heart rate under control, doctors decided to insert a pacemaker. The night before her surgery, my mother was very anxious. When I asked her to tell me more about her fears, she cried and said, “I am afraid to die. I don’t know what happens after you die.” Many people share my mom’s fear of the unknown. We may have heard we go to heaven when we die if we’re believers, but we’re still not sure what that looks like.
Although we don’t know everything about what happens when we die, we do know that the soul of a Christian will be immediately in Christ’s presence. Christ told the thief on the cross, “Today you will be with me in Paradise” (Luke 23:43). Our bodies will return to dust for a season (for more about what happens to our bodies, see “What Happens to Our Bodies When We Die”), but we will be with God in heaven. Randy Alcorn explains it this way, “The place of our arrival will be a beautiful, though temporary, place where we’ll await the culmination of history: the return of the risen Jesus, who will resurrect us. When His millennial reign is accomplished (whether that’s a nonliteral present reign or a literal thousand-year future reign), we’ll join Him in ruling the New Earth, free of sin and the Curse.” (Alcorn, “What Happens When a Believer Dies”). On that evening before her surgery, my mother’s face relaxed and her crying stopped as she imagined what awaited her if she were to die in surgery.
2. Fear of being bored in heaven
We might as well fess up—some of us aren’t so sure we’ll like living in heaven. We have been led to imagine heaven as a place where we gain our wings and float around on clouds playing harps, a place where St. Peter makes dad-jokes to all who enter. According to such depictions, heaven sounds boring, if not downright ludicrous. If you’ve ever secretly harbored hopes your entrance to such a place would be delayed, there’s good news: you will love living in the heaven of the Bible.
Let’s get a few things straight. First, we do not turn into angels when we die. Angels are spirits (see Hebrews 1:14). Humans have both a spiritual and physical aspect and never become spirits. Some theologians believe it’s possible that we gain some sort of temporary body while in the “intermediate state,” the time between when we go to be with Jesus and when Jesus returns to establish the new heavens and the new earth. In Revelation 7:9, saints are recognized as being from every “tribe and people and language.” We will know people who have gone before us to heaven—the disciples recognized Moses and Elijah at the transfiguration (See Luke 9:29-33).
And while we will remain for a season in the glorious presence of the triune God in the temporary heaven, the intermediate state, one day we will occupy the new heavens and the new earth, a glorious garden city temple that flows with the water of life. In the new heavens and the new earth, we will happily wear our resurrection bodies, and we will never mourn nor cry again. In that day, we will feast and we will look on the face of Christ (see Revelation 21-22).
“Make All Things New” Image from a painting by artist James B. Jankgnecht. Please visit his website to see more of his beautiful Christian art. Used with gracious permission.
3. Fear of pain and suffering
Many people imagine that the suffering and pain related to dying may be intolerable. Dr. B J Miller, palliative care physician, notes, “The good news here is that a frightened imagination is almost always overly pessimistic. From what I’ve seen at many bedsides, and heard from countless others, dying is often very peaceful. (Harder for those witnessing it than for the person actually doing it.)” (A Beginner’s Guide to the End, 156 ).
In addition to the hope for relief offered by modern medicine, Christians also gain hope from remembering that Christ suffered for us as he died on the cross and that he promises to be with us by his Spirit in any suffering we experience (Isaiah 43:2). The apostle Paul, who suffered many physical afflictions, including beatings and shipwreck, hunger and thirst, tells us that God assured him his grace would be sufficient for all of his suffering and weakness (2 Corinthians 11:23-30; 12:7-10). While God may not deliver us from all pain and suffering in dying, he will provide his presence and his sustaining grace.
4. Fear of meaninglessness
Psychologist Dr. Karl Albrecht, writing about fears common to all humans, notes that we all fear “ceasing to exist….The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxiety in all humans.” (“The Only Five Fears We All Share”). What if our work, our love, our lives are simply erased? As Matthew McCullough points out in his book, Remember Death: The Surprising Path to Living Hope, it’s likely people one hundred years from now, including our relatives, won’t even know our first name, much less any details of our lives. The author of Ecclesiastes speaks of death’s potential to make our lives meaningless: “There is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of later things yet to be among those who come after” (Eccles. 1:11) and “All are from dust, and to dust all return” (Eccles. 3:18-20).
Thankfully, the gospel offers hope of escaping the meaninglessness imposed by death. Yes, our work, our wealth, our achievements, even our relationships, will one day turn to dust. And yet, because Jesus died to make us “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17) and because he was raised from the dead, our lives are radically meaningful. When we live to glorify and enjoy God, when we seek to be “characters and carriers of the gospel” (Scotty Smith, Restoring Broken Things), everything we do gains new and lasting meaning and purpose. As the apostle Paul wrote, “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord’s work, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15: 58, CSB). One day, in the new heavens and new earth, we will see how God knitted our labor for him into the beauty of his eternal kingdom.
5. Fear of regret
Many people refuse to think about dying because it leads them to feel unbearable regret. As they look back on their lives, people regret many things, including paths not taken, relationships not pursued, and good relationships damaged.
The gospel provides a way of escape from the snare of regret. Regarding paths not taken, we can pray and trust that God led us to a particular place at a particular time and that he used this direction for our good and for his glory. Regarding sins of commission or omission, we can allow the forgiveness of Christ to move us toward the godly sorrow which leads to repentance: “For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). To repent is to change our minds about sin and to turn in a new direction. By the power of the Holy Spirit, godly sorrow leads to a “repentance without regret” (2 Corinthians 7:10). As we forgive those we have held a grudge against, and as we ask forgiveness of those we have harmed, regrets fade, and peace takes hold.
6. Fear of judgment
For those who don’t trust Christ as Savior, and even for many who do, the reality of judgment after death leads to fear: “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil” (2 Corinthians 5:10).
The gospel offers great hope to all who fear the day of judgment. Tim Keller explains this hope:
“All religions talk about death and the afterlife, but in general they proclaim that you must lead a good life in order to be ready for eternity. Yet as death approaches we all know we have not done even close to our best; we have not lived as we ought. So we stay, with warrant, enslaved by the fear of death until the end.
Christianity is different. It doesn’t leave you to face death on your own, by holding up your life record and hoping it will suffice. Instead it gives you a champion who has defeated death, who pardons you and covers you with his love. You face death “in him” and in his perfect record (Phil. 3:9)” (Tim Keller, “The Fright of Death: How Conscience Makes Cowards of Us All,” The Gospel Coalition). All who trust in Christ for our righteousness have every reason to face judgment with hope, for it is his perfect record, not our own faulty one, that God judges.
Dear friends, no doubt, dying is daunting, raising these six fears and many others. But take heart—we who have Christ as Savior can face death with courage and hope. Our Savior suffered and died for us. Our Savior has been raised from the dead and sits on the throne in heaven. Name your fears honestly and take them to the One who can bring comfort and calm.
Let’s talk about it:
Did I miss some of the fears of dying you or someone you know has experienced? Please share.
What has helped you in your fears surrounding dying?
Recommended Reads
Remember Death: The Surprising Path to Living Hope by Matthew McCullough
McCullough begins by talking about how even Christians don’t think about or talk about death very much. If we do try to raise the topic, we are deemed “morbid.” And yet, as McCullough points out, in this avoidance of thinking and talking about death, we are “out of line with the perspective of the Bible.” (McCullough, 22). Not only does he urge us to remember death as the route to living in hope, but he also asserts that remembering death is the way to treasure and enjoy the “imperishable” riches of the gospel.
On Death: How to Find God Book 3 by Tim Keller
From The Gospel Coalition book review by Jamie Carlson: “Buoyed by Keller’s wide reading and pastoral experience, the book is a gentle primer on death aimed at Christians and unbelievers alike. It’s written in a way that can comfort and convict Christians, and also reach an audience who hasn’t yet found their hope in Christ. For Christians specifically, Keller can help us better live as “sorrowful yet always rejoicing.”
The Lost Art of Dying: Reviving Forgotten Wisdom by L. S. Dugsdale
Dugsdale, a physician, shares her medical perspective, explaining how recovering the “lost art of dying,”the intentional preparation for death, can help us to live well. This book is written for the general population.
Alcorn addresses questions everyone is asking about heaven. Listening to this book brought me great comfort as I grieved my mother’s death. I now have a hard copy to keep as a reference.